Moving On

This is like a bad break up. Which I never really had. Those were just awkward. This is miserable. The sermon today was about suffering for doing good (1 Peter 3:15ish) and even though I feel like I did nothing wrong, I feel tortured about the whole thing. And I really think it's Satan. I can't help but feel like I could have done more, but in hindsight, I really think it was doomed from the beginning. She wanted 100% from me and that was practically impossible to give. At the beginning, I was running all over the place teaching and schooling and could not really focus. Once summer came, I was applying and really just focused on getting a letter and getting everything sent off. This doesn't mean I didn't do my job, but it was just really hard to have my mind all there. By the time I did have everything turned in, she had already written me off without talking to me about it. When she said she needed help in the fall, I should have left it at that and come to work in the fall. After applications. After interviews. After baby. After we were both ready to focus. Because neither of us really were. I think my problem is just knowing what they think about me. I equate that with my witness and it can really get to me. That's what I couldn't stop thinking about in church today. I honestly think they were misguided and acted irrationally and that doesn't mean I was a bad witness. I honestly feel like this was a bad roommate/good roommate clash all over again. Just like what's her face. Anyway, funny as it isn't, another pre-dent posted on SDN about his awful assisting experience that parallels mine 100%. To the letter. I am not alone. I wish him the best. Yeesh.