The past month has been unique and I'm sure the next 2 will be even better. Lago is amazing. We love taking walks by the lake and kayaking. We'll even take picnics down to the beach and eat dinner there in the middle of the week. I've worked, probably 3 days a week on average, which is what I would have been working at Mandy's. On my days off, I've discovered the fitness center in our neighborhood and I've finished Nanna's quilt. Living in Lago and traveling to Houston and Dallas all the time (ok, mainly Dallas) have practically excluded us from church. I made my last baby shower cakes this month and that's pretty much the only time we've seen church people. We've spent more time with the Roeders which is good. It's a pretty isolated and slow time which is good and hard. Now that I'm finished with school, I think it'll slow down even more. In-between times are hard, especially when you're not really sure when it will be over and where you'll end up. I'm so glad to get to work on the projects and activities that are important to me. I'm also glad that I get some time to really focus and grow and work through some things emotionally and spiritually.
I've been wrestling with some issues and it's been neat to see God bring me - not necessarily answers, but clues; reminders of His glory and mystery. I think we so eagerly assume that God has just laid it all out for us. I think a lot of Christians make that leap in just about every area of life. It makes us feel so much better about it. We classify things as "God's will" and pray for revelation to explain what He's doing at different times in our lives and we're satisfied. I think we simplify Scripture based on childish explanations we've heard all our lives and deny that there is more than we could ever understand on our own - on this Earth. At least our denial is revealed in our prideful insistance that there's a simple answer for every spiritual problem this world encounters and that our answer is the only right one. Every aspect from salvation to sacrament to social reform. Everything gets so boxed-in and leaves absolutely no room for God to be who He really is in our little worlds. Of course He's always doing His thing no matter what, but we sure block a lot out everyday. Kinda like sunscreen. Like too much of Who He really could be for us would burn us like harmful UV rays, when in reality it would just make us shine brighter. And...maybe some of those "deadly" rays could actually break through and cause permanent changes in our genetic makeup from which we could never return. Wouldn't that be amazing? And it would spread all throughout our bodies...unstoppable...until we were completely changed to be like Him. My analogy is a little nerdy, but it holds. I just think that our attempts to make God more "accessible" to the masses by describing His ways in human words and analogies has taken away the mistique, the audacity, and the unexplainable that makes God, well, God. How dare we demand simple answers. I know our language is all we have to tell others about Him, but sometimes we rely too much on it when we should just be absorbing His rays so that He can do all the talking. So I guess this summer I'll be working on my "tan". As long as we're here, it will never be easy. It's like laying out in a forest. And I think we too often resort to the spray on tan or "subtle self-tanners" or bronzers...you know, the fake stuff that makes us feel all warm and fuzzy about God but doesn't really do the trick. It's just not the same. And it comes off too easily. I need to go to bed before my analogies get too bizarre.
