I found myself praying in bed last night in complete surrender. The really cool part about it was that I totally felt like it was all the Spirit inside me just pushing everything else aside, and I could even kinda hear my flesh protesting in the background, but it just wasn't able to overcome my true heart's desires. Really, really cool. We talked about how I really do live the past a lot. I remember when times were really good and long for that and end up neglecting right now. I'm not living. I'm just remembering a lot and surviving through right now. I guess it's that whole puropse driven life thing, huh? I always feel a purpose, but I get caught up in the details of things: friends, churches, Bible studies, service, theology. All are great things, by the way, but they are by no means the meat. I've been really nostalgic as we pack up to move next week and it is great and all to remember the times God really blessed us and think about all the lessons learned and what I would do differently next time if placed in a similar situation. All valuable, valuable things to do. I mean, that's what we're all taught to do. But, I think the living part is the most important. I think that's what I ended up doing my sophomore year in college that turned everything around for me - I decided what was most important and I built my life around that. Whatever the cost. So I guess that's what I did last night with God. Whatever success, whatever profits, whatever friendships, whatever...it will be for His benefit. No more shying away from what all this is really about. And I prayed the same for Erik. That in whatever path he finds himself on, he will have passions that will serve to bring glory to God. And I prayed for passions. God-centered, kingdom-focused passions. However glorious or inglorious. When you wake up the next day after these moments it's really surreal, and feels strange as normal life just keeps going and in the back of your head you know things have to be different. But it is different. Right here, right now, tomorrow and all the days to come. What a message of hope and grace that silly little saying of Rev. Bob's contains! We live here and now, we hope for better things and all the blessings and opportunities God has for us, and we can't get caught up in sin and regret because Jesus took care of all that and it will only keep us back from the best He has in store. For me!
