My First Week is Over

I just finished my first week being jobless. It started off with me having to come up with a story. "I'm not working anymore. I'm getting the house ready to sell." Angela didn't buy it, so we had lunch on Friday. I rehashed the whole thing, tears and all, and still feel good about it. She had some supportive words and she prayed for me which was oh, soo good. At rehearsal on Wednesday, it boiled down to the fact that I wasn't in my scrubs and I had to explain myself. When I gave them my line, the reply was, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" And I honestly replied with, "I haven't really decided yet." After a week of well, getting a lot done, I feel good. We'll knock it all out next week and the house should be market-ready. Next weekend, I'll assist at Texas Missions of Mercy at the Dell Diamond. I might run into the "robots" as they call themselves, but maybe not. Tuesday I get signed up with RRISD to sub, so I should be busy. Moving on.

Moving On

This is like a bad break up. Which I never really had. Those were just awkward. This is miserable. The sermon today was about suffering for doing good (1 Peter 3:15ish) and even though I feel like I did nothing wrong, I feel tortured about the whole thing. And I really think it's Satan. I can't help but feel like I could have done more, but in hindsight, I really think it was doomed from the beginning. She wanted 100% from me and that was practically impossible to give. At the beginning, I was running all over the place teaching and schooling and could not really focus. Once summer came, I was applying and really just focused on getting a letter and getting everything sent off. This doesn't mean I didn't do my job, but it was just really hard to have my mind all there. By the time I did have everything turned in, she had already written me off without talking to me about it. When she said she needed help in the fall, I should have left it at that and come to work in the fall. After applications. After interviews. After baby. After we were both ready to focus. Because neither of us really were. I think my problem is just knowing what they think about me. I equate that with my witness and it can really get to me. That's what I couldn't stop thinking about in church today. I honestly think they were misguided and acted irrationally and that doesn't mean I was a bad witness. I honestly feel like this was a bad roommate/good roommate clash all over again. Just like what's her face. Anyway, funny as it isn't, another pre-dent posted on SDN about his awful assisting experience that parallels mine 100%. To the letter. I am not alone. I wish him the best. Yeesh.

It is finished.

I just finished reading over my experience as a dental assistant. Amazingly, between the beginning of September and now, things went downhill really quickly. I would even venture to say that it was the last two - three weeks that really did it. If I had to do it all over again, I think I would. I would've waited until classes were over and teaching was over. I would have been better about sitting down with her and discussing my role and asking for help. I would've been more honest about my frustrations and I would have definitely stood up for myself if it ever got to that point. I wonder how different it would really be, though. Obviously, I can never know. If I had waited and gone to Acuna and gotten to know Dr. Smith....But at this point, I have a really good learning experience under my belt in lots of different ways. I really do pray that I never get so independent that I lose track of what really matters. I hope that I never get so confident that I won't admit when I need advice. I hope that I never get so "good", that I can't admit I make mistakes. I hope that my professional relationships are just that - professional - so that friends won't sway my emotions and business decisions. I hope that I will always stand up for myself, even when it makes people angry. And right now, I hope I get a really good night's sleep. I need some rest.