Spring Break

My week off is here and I need to get out of this house. It's so beautiful today after the rain and I will go run and enjoy it! The house situation has brought new bad news almost every day. Today we got the first good news and next, I should get some more and hopefully we'll hear that we'll be closing on Friday. Hallelujah! I realized that we'll be starting to look for a new place in like a month and a half or so. Erik hasn't worked on his real estate stuff in a while though, so we'll se how that goes. I get my physical in a couple of weeks and I'll be ready to go to orientation. I'm starving for more info about classes. We get our book list in mid-June along with our orientation schedule. Maybe at that point we'll have a place and we'll be going up regularly to work on it so we'll be ready to at least live/camp there in August. So now I'm just chilling. Did some quilting this morning, I'll do some more tonight. Maybe again tomorrow. Then I'll mix it up with some scrapbooking and reading in the park. Always with running and tai chi thrown in.

Yesterday, Luke was dedicated at church. First I saw Matt, then Mandy, then Amy. I told Erik and he said to just avoid eye contact. As I played my horn, I got really nervous thinking, "If I mess up, then they'll really think I can't do anything right." I was really ashamed of my thinking, but still found my hand shaking as I finished the special that had a major horn part in it. I played fine, not perfect, but great for as tense as I was. After the service, we went to get my horn, avoiding them, of course. But while we were visiting about going to the park for lunch, Erik said later that he saw her head towards me and turn around a couple of times, before she came over, poked me on the shoulder, and the pleasantries began. She said she just wanted me to see Luke. So I cooed at him and laughed and she said she'd see me later. I don't know why she felt compelled to do that because it sure didn't make me feel good or better or anything. If it eased her conscience in any way, that's fine. I was on the verge of tears when we finally got in the car. But Erik did his best to steer me away from it and put it all behind me again. I can't let her condescending disapproval and dissatisfaction plague me. All I can ever do is "work at [whatever I do] with all [my] heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:23 Not for her. Not for me. Just Him.

So, on I go...balancing expecation and satisfaction with now.