Waiting for my Toenails to Dry

It's almost 11:30 and I can't go to bed because I painted my toes and they have to dry. I can't get impatient, because when I do, I always end up with sheet marks in the paint no matter how hard I try to keep meet feet out from under the covers. So I wait with a headache (yes, I took Tylenol) and drink my water like a good girl and go through every website I've already been through today. I was reading our friends' blog about their latest move cross-country and how well everything went and he used the word "favored" by God. It's hard in the midst of all this to not think that God is not favoring us, but when you really get down to it, we're still coming out ahead in all of this. Just because things are crazy doesn't mean that this move is the wrong thing, or dental school is the wrong thing - it's just a thing. I was pondering in bed last night about some of this and thought about how with each turn we take, God must, in His guiding love, make sure that we're ready for what we're going to face. He prepares us, even in little ways we may not notice, but He does. Before all this, I'd never worked for someone completely unreasonable, I'd never had a job where I had to learn something totally new and foreign, I'd never had to work through anything so emotionally draining. Erik and I had never dealt with major plumbing or structural problems in a home, never had to work through so much uncertainty and keep each other focused and positive. We've learned a lot about crazy real estate problems and what are good and bad ways to handle them. For two people facing dental school and the possibility of working in real estate - I think we should be thankful for the short courses we've endured these past few months.

I still don't think my toenails are dry, but they're better than when I started this post!

Spring Break

My week off is here and I need to get out of this house. It's so beautiful today after the rain and I will go run and enjoy it! The house situation has brought new bad news almost every day. Today we got the first good news and next, I should get some more and hopefully we'll hear that we'll be closing on Friday. Hallelujah! I realized that we'll be starting to look for a new place in like a month and a half or so. Erik hasn't worked on his real estate stuff in a while though, so we'll se how that goes. I get my physical in a couple of weeks and I'll be ready to go to orientation. I'm starving for more info about classes. We get our book list in mid-June along with our orientation schedule. Maybe at that point we'll have a place and we'll be going up regularly to work on it so we'll be ready to at least live/camp there in August. So now I'm just chilling. Did some quilting this morning, I'll do some more tonight. Maybe again tomorrow. Then I'll mix it up with some scrapbooking and reading in the park. Always with running and tai chi thrown in.

Yesterday, Luke was dedicated at church. First I saw Matt, then Mandy, then Amy. I told Erik and he said to just avoid eye contact. As I played my horn, I got really nervous thinking, "If I mess up, then they'll really think I can't do anything right." I was really ashamed of my thinking, but still found my hand shaking as I finished the special that had a major horn part in it. I played fine, not perfect, but great for as tense as I was. After the service, we went to get my horn, avoiding them, of course. But while we were visiting about going to the park for lunch, Erik said later that he saw her head towards me and turn around a couple of times, before she came over, poked me on the shoulder, and the pleasantries began. She said she just wanted me to see Luke. So I cooed at him and laughed and she said she'd see me later. I don't know why she felt compelled to do that because it sure didn't make me feel good or better or anything. If it eased her conscience in any way, that's fine. I was on the verge of tears when we finally got in the car. But Erik did his best to steer me away from it and put it all behind me again. I can't let her condescending disapproval and dissatisfaction plague me. All I can ever do is "work at [whatever I do] with all [my] heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." Colossians 3:23 Not for her. Not for me. Just Him.

So, on I go...balancing expecation and satisfaction with now.

That's what you thought!

Well, that sad but exciting moment of leaving our house didn't exactly happen. The waters came and we fought like crazy to save our house and we did a pretty good job. The drama is now over and the workers are coming everday to fix the dry wall. The Stultzes are camping out there and we'll probably close this week. In the meantime....I got my new student packet from Baylor!! I got it yesterday and I've already completed everything except the physical form, which I'll call to make an appointment for tomorrow. What a blessing that I've already got my shots up to date, I already have my healthcare provider CPR certification, and (thanks to our honeymoon fiasco) I even have a copy of my birth certificate! I just copied off everything, stuck it in the appropriately addressed envelopes, slapped a stamp on it, and in the mail it goes tomorrow! So in the midst of what could be very stressful and life consuming, we've managed to push on and enjoy our beautiful new home in Lago. The golf course is closed, but still beautiful and a great place for hills training. The views on the way to work in the morning are amazing and it's just as nice to go home. At this point, the time here feels like it's slipping away and even though I'm super excited and so ready to start school, I know I will regret it if I don't use it right.