D1-Done!

This is the first time I can remember that I turned in a test where I know I guessed on at least 1/2 of it. But so be it....because I am done. I didn't finish all gloriously with an all-nighter full of coffee and energy drinks and highlighters. I went home and watched some t.v. and organized my school stuff. Thought I'd go to bed early, but ended up transferring all my files from my laptop (well, no longer-my-latptop) to the desktop on the study. It was mesmerizing and really relaxing compared to the crazy night most of my classmates probably had. I discovered a whole cache of music I forgot that I transferred and enjoyed it this morning as I pseudo-looked over some last minute notes. This anti-climax to my year may seem kinda odd, and not very characteristic of the OCD, type A kinda personality most of us dentite types are. But I needed it. I liken it to training for a marathon, getting to -oh, say- mile 24 of the big race and finding this really nice bench under a pretty tree with a view of the lake - and sitting down. Just for a while. Of course, I got up and walked across the finish, but no running or crawling for me. A nice, quiet finish with a peaceful satisfaction that I completed a really big task and that I will never have to do it again.

Winding Down

14 days left and still a lot to do, but reflect I will. I think that I (only though the power of God) have handled the first year of dental school fairly well. (1 minor meltdown, only a handful of pseudo-all-nighters, and the lining of my stomach is still intact! - the extra gray hairs and wrinkles are, however evident) There will always be things I could have done better, lessons I could have learned faster, or more I could have done, but what has happened brought God glory in many ways, taught me lessons in a lot of ways, and laid the foundation for the future. That is productive. Right now, it's really tempting to think about the summer and all the things I want to do that I was really bad at during school...like exercise, and quiet times, and Bible study, and cleaning, and hobbies, and just plain fun times with Erik. I really want those things to become such a part of my life in my time off that I can't as easily neglect them during my "piece of cake", "joke" of a 2nd year. I'm excited for the 1st years coming in and LOVE answering their questions on SDN and can't wait for orientation week in August. It's such and exciting time that fades all too quickly, but I can't wait to get a buzz off it. Ya know, get excited about dentistry again - at least in that fresh, unadulterated, naive way they still look at it. How soon reality sets in. Apart from the cyinicism that unfortunately befalls most of us post year one, I still am excited about how God can use dentistry in my life and the mission trip completely instilled that in me again. I feel that our decision to wait for kids so I can be obedient to this using of my talents is still worth it and the 3 more years it will take to finish this stage will fly by just as fast as this one has. I know that God will teach me everything I need to know - in life and in dentistry - to see that happen. Way exciting!

Random Thoughts

This may sound a little stupid and definitely naive, but Facebook has taught me something today. With a looming 10 year high school reunion a lot of old and familiar faces have been resurfacing and it's fun to read everyone's story and hear what they've been up to. It's so amazing how at that point of high school graduation, we all had a basic story that was outlined for us by society as far as growing up goes. Big generalities, mind you...We went to elementary school. We went to jr. high. We went to high school. In the midst of that, we learned how to read and write, we lost teeth and got brand new ones, then came cars and boys/girls and braces and proms and the big day of graduation. After that...well, we got to decide. Some stayed on the traditional path of college...wedding...job...now kids....in some form or fashion. Others had their own plans, or were just along for a different sort of ride, maybe one they didn't plan on. But after 10 years a lot can happen since that parting of ways and it's so easy to "expect" people to be in a certain place in life when that's the stupidest thing to ever assume. That's society for ya. So if/when you find yourself on a path you didn't expect, you can bet there are quite a few right along side you because in all reality, that normal path, ain't so normal anymore...we grew up.

Spring Memories

I got a case of Spring Fever today, being the first day of Spring and a beautiful one at that...so I decided to write out some of my favorite Spring things/memories in honor of it (in no particular order):

1. The all-important shorts wearing temperature that mom set at 70 degrees.
2. Making Easter eggs.
3. Aggie baseball. (Also where Erik and I first held hands...collective awwww....)
4. Studying at Research Park.
5. My first dates with Erik.
6. Island Party. Whoop!
7. Spring Break camping with the gang.
8. My daffodils and roses coming to life.
9. The first mow.
10. Moving to Lago and watching the baby deers move about.
11. Beautiful clear days walking across campus.
12. Camping when it's still just a little cold at night.
13. The first flip-flop day.
14. The Easter I decided to get baptized.
15. Movies in the park season.
16. Drives through the Hill Country in the Wrangler.
17. Moving into our first house.
18. My favorite outfit: shorts and a long sleeve shirt.
19. Green peeking through the dry grass.
20. The Capitol 10K!
21. Tai chi in the park.
22. The first BBQ.

Of course my favorite of all happened this weekend about 2000 years ago. Thank you, Jesus for spring and new life and enjoying Your creation....and for dying for my sins and rising again so I can enjoy You.

In need of....

In need of grace, In need of love

In need of mercy raining down from high above

In need of strength, in need of peace

In need of things that only You can give to me

In need of Christ, the perfect Lamb

My refuge strong, the great I Am

This is my song, my humble plea

I am Your child, I am in need

Just a bit of taking stock today of what's most important and where I stand with that. Praise the Lord that all of the above has been provided and although it's nice to sing those words and think about how needy we really are in those areas, the fact that I am His child makes it all taken care of. Otherwise, man, what in the world would I do?

(btw, that's my sister's photo. Cool, huh?)

A Day in the Life Of...

I will be gradually compiling pics that depict my days here at school. Since each day is a little different, it'll take a little bit. I will be including pictures taken by myself and our class historian Elizabeth Garza (who is also my personal friend), so I must give her props for helping to make this blog post possible. : )

Mornings

Every day begins with coffee. I started out with just a cup in the morning and tea the rest of the day, but it's now 2 cups a day. Breakers has the best coffee (the little stand Julie runs in the basement of the dental school). Unfortunately, she's not usually up and running by class time at 8 am, so I started going to McDonald's...2 cream 2 sugar. The lady learned my order. That's prety sad.

More recently I have made a few cups of joe at home before leaving for school. It works on some days. Most days, McDonald's here I come.

Class

I sit in seat #54 and Alex is seat #55. He's a good seat buddy. Now that I have an empty chair on the other side most of the time, he's my main man.

Garzas in front

Room 6

door to the room

This is basically my view from my seat. Ben and Melodie. Chatting away between classes.

The next few pics are histology lab. Actually kind of a relaxing time. Dr. Svoboda turned the lights down low and Dr. Opperman walked us through the slides with her oh so soothing accent.

Please note in the above picture that I am packing up to leave. While everyone else is still studying. Thank you, Dr. Shippen, for getting me ready to histo so I could leave early! : )

Lunch

A tribute to lunch. This is Ben Morgan's lunch as made by, well, a boy. We threw a few peanuts in to top it off, but, seriously. I guess it all ends up in the same place, right?

Please note the can of Ranch Style Beans and the can opener accompanying it. This was NOT staged. Sadly enough.

Lunch area

Cafeteria

Studying

Studying at the Garza's doesn't look like it would be the most productive thing in the world, but that's just Rudy. Liz and I can get it done. Just to explain...we were studying for the 2nd Growth and Development test and "Dr. Buschang" showed up.

Studying in the library is also a good thing. This is what Ben looks like studying in the library.

This is what Harrison looks like studying in the library.

I was guilty of doing this once. So far. It's really hard to do with insane amounts of ping pong going on behind you and Sports Center blaring on the TV overhead. But dental school will make you tired enough to catch a few winks between classes on the couch.

I admit that this is staged, but many a winks are caught during breaks here at #54. Not necessarily on my computer.

See, I'm not the only one. Alex ignores my snoring.

This was taken at the very end of gross when we learned the anatomy of injections. This is a "mental block" being demonstrated on a real, yes real, human skull. It really creeped Erik out to have a skull in the house and he was glad to see it go. Who knows what the cats thought.

A Day of Rest

Today is MLK and I needed a break! For some reason (some might attribute it to post-holiday blues) starting this semester has been more than difficult for a lot of us at school. A girl that I honestly don't talk to much just sat down next to me one day and told me she was homesick. The "can I still specialize?" woes are hitting pretty hard for those that fall in that category. I just feel pretty blah and not very excited about much of anything. And classes that shouldn't be all that stressful are hitting us harder than even gross did. We have got to calm down and take a break. There's way too much competition and not enough practical learning.

Unfortunately my body is responding to whatever this is (and shouldn't be) by apparently losing all rhythm to its natural cycles. Please, Lord calm me down, because I sure don't need this scare every month. Talk about stress.

So for now, I'm trying to take it slow. A little quilting, lunch with mom and Lisa, a little Gilmore Girls (thanks, Sarah!) and maybe, just maybe, a little studying. Later. I do have a test on Friday.

Just Call Me Dr. Mann

Finally, we, the first years, get to feel like dentists. Albeit small steps, we are picking up the tools of the trade for the first time to actually USE them instead of just put them in a drawer. Now, the once menial dental assistant tasks of mixing stone and making casts are the highlights of our days (ok, I admit I really enjoyed the quiet hum of the vibrator and trimmer as I escaped into the lab at the dental office). And I still do. But tomorrow, we get to use our handpieces. To prepare extracted teeth. And then fill them. Like real dentists. Ok, I know real dentists work on teeth in real people's mouths, but it really is the little things that get us through the endless weeks of first-year-dom. In a year and a half it WILL be real people. Kinda scary, huh?

Dental School - Episode One

I really wish I had done a better job keeping up with the hang-ups and hoopla of the first semester of dental school, but for the most part, that was out of the question. The first days of orientation were exciting and nerve wracking and hard in some ways. There were so many people to meet and as bad as I am at that, even though I tried really hard, it didn't work out the best some days. Other days, it wasn't so bad. But I pushed through it all and enjoyed it for the most part and ended up meeting some really nice people. And sitting through a lot of talking. As school really started, I was absolutely exhausted. But there was no time for that! I got myself organized and jumped into the game - and what a game! Thank God I adapted well and found my group of friends and made sure to have time for Erik and relaxing and - for a few months at least - exercise and even a little tai chi. I started going to the Christian Medical and Dental Association and got elected to the curriculum committee for the D1s and Erik and I began our church hunt that ended up in Rockwall. At First Baptist... We made it a priority to spend Sundays with my family and that worked out really well. I started out with a great quiet time that dwindled to quiet pleas to God to help me through the day/night/test/tooth/quiz/lecture. In other news, Erik took on the stereotypical "wife" role and took over laundry and dinner and dishes. He brought me my dinner on the couch where I was studying every night. He always had clean scrubs for me and cleaned up every mess the cats made. Amazing. There were a few quiet moments where I would just turn to God in tears - not out of despair, but just exhaustion, thankfulness for His strength, and amazement that He was carrying me through it all. Not that I doubt His promises, just my worthiness of His blessings. Which is dumb, I know. As a freshman at A&M I clung to the "I am the vine" passage in John - "without Me, you can do nothing." The coolest part of that is the promise in Matthew - "and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." So at least that means I can do something, right? : ) So even though we miss Austin, don't have very many friends, and live like students, the point is that we're doing something that will, God willing, be a part of His kingdom coming. For now, I enjoy a slower pace that won't last much longer. Then the push to spring break is on...mission trip! Then the push to my last full summer break ev-er. Hopefully I'll be painting and landscaping the new house in Chandler's and spending time with my new niece or nephew. Yeah, buddy.

Summary of the Progression of Dental School

This is my life. Soon it will be over and the rejoicing will begin.

We live in the present, we look to the future, and there's no turning back, doo wah, doo wah....

I found myself praying in bed last night in complete surrender. The really cool part about it was that I totally felt like it was all the Spirit inside me just pushing everything else aside, and I could even kinda hear my flesh protesting in the background, but it just wasn't able to overcome my true heart's desires. Really, really cool. We talked about how I really do live the past a lot. I remember when times were really good and long for that and end up neglecting right now. I'm not living. I'm just remembering a lot and surviving through right now. I guess it's that whole puropse driven life thing, huh? I always feel a purpose, but I get caught up in the details of things: friends, churches, Bible studies, service, theology. All are great things, by the way, but they are by no means the meat. I've been really nostalgic as we pack up to move next week and it is great and all to remember the times God really blessed us and think about all the lessons learned and what I would do differently next time if placed in a similar situation. All valuable, valuable things to do. I mean, that's what we're all taught to do. But, I think the living part is the most important. I think that's what I ended up doing my sophomore year in college that turned everything around for me - I decided what was most important and I built my life around that. Whatever the cost. So I guess that's what I did last night with God. Whatever success, whatever profits, whatever friendships, whatever...it will be for His benefit. No more shying away from what all this is really about. And I prayed the same for Erik. That in whatever path he finds himself on, he will have passions that will serve to bring glory to God. And I prayed for passions. God-centered, kingdom-focused passions. However glorious or inglorious. When you wake up the next day after these moments it's really surreal, and feels strange as normal life just keeps going and in the back of your head you know things have to be different. But it is different. Right here, right now, tomorrow and all the days to come. What a message of hope and grace that silly little saying of Rev. Bob's contains! We live here and now, we hope for better things and all the blessings and opportunities God has for us, and we can't get caught up in sin and regret because Jesus took care of all that and it will only keep us back from the best He has in store. For me!